Acrostic: Polarity


Pain and pleasure that we both embrace
On the subconscious and conscious mind
Love and hate, they seal our precious fate
And the dark creates feels, just like the light
Rain and clear skies, they give us notions
In the light of sun and moon shining bright
To the polarity in all of us that is essential
Your imperfect character, like day and night

Mentje December 11, 2019

Diet plan

Recently I discovered that my cholesterol level LDL is too high. I had my blood tested. This is bad. Especially since I am a smoker. Also My metabolism is pretty slow the test results showed. So we have a problem here. For a long time I didn’t care about my cholesterols and the side affects of smoking. But now that I am at higher risk of heart and vascular disease I feel that enough is enough. My life is at stake here.

And with this issue in particular I am not going to wait for the new year to start. I have to start eating ultra healthy and stop smoking as soon as possible. I already lost some bad eating habits. But overall I still eat too many refined sugars, unhealthy carbs, and saturated fats. Especially now I got better from the bronchitis and my appetite is back. I eat more again compared to when I was sick.

So I decided to start with a diet plan tomorrow. A fresh week. With a high LDL it’s important to eat healthy fats and avoid unhealthy fats. My diet plan:

The healthy fats I’ll be eating:

  • Olive, canola, peanut, and sesame oils
  • Avocados
  • Olives
  • Nuts (almonds, peanuts, macadamia, hazelnuts, pecans, cashews)
  • Peanut butter
  • Sunflower, sesame, and pumpkin seeds
  • Flaxseed
  • Walnuts
  • Fatty fish (salmon, tuna, mackerel, herring, trout, sardines) and fish oil
  • Soybean and safflower oil
  • Soymilk
  • Tofu

The unhealthy fats I’ll be avoiding:

  • Commercially-baked pastries, cookies, doughnuts, muffins, cakes, pizza dough
  • Packaged snack foods (crackers, microwave popcorn, chips)
  • Stick margarine, vegetable shortening
  • Fried foods (French fries, fried chicken, chicken nuggets, breaded fish)
  • Anything containing hydrogenated or partially hydrogenated vegetable oil, even if it claims to be β€œtrans fat-free”
  • Red meat (beef, lamb, pork)
  • Chicken skin
  • Whole-fat dairy products (milk, cream, cheese)
  • Butter
  • Ice cream
  • Lard
  • Tropical oils such as coconut and palm oil

Than, the healthy carbs I’ll be eating:

  • Unrefined whole grains (whole wheat or multigrain bread, brown rice, barley, quinoa, bran cereal, oatmeal)
  • Non-starchy vegetables (spinach, green beans, Brussels sprouts, celery, tomatoes)
  • Legumes (kidney beans, baked beans, peas, lentils)
  • Nuts (peanuts, cashews, almonds, walnuts)
  • Fruit (such as apples, berries, citrus fruit, bananas, pears)
  • Natural sweetners – (such as corn syrup, maple syrup, agave syrup and honey)

Unhealthy carbs I’ll be avoiding:

  • Sugary drinks such as soda
  • Processed or packaged foods
  • Refined sugars in general
  • Candy
  • Pastry
  • Cake and pie
  • Ice-cream
  • Chocolat

That’s pretty clear is it? Healthy fats and healthy carbs. I will start with this diet plan tomorrow. I would like to add, that I will eat:

  • 3 meals a day
  • 3 healthy snacks a day
  • 2 fruits a day
  • 20 grams of a treat a day

And drink:

  • 0,75 liter of water or tea
  • 0,75 liter of skimmed milk, juice/smoothies
  • Not more than 3 coffee’s a day

I will be around 1800/2000 calories a day.
In the city here they have a special shop where they sell only natural products with no saturated fats or refined sugars. They also sell all kinds of nuts, (dried) fruits, healthy snacks and healthier treats. My boyfriend promised me that he will take me there every Monday so I can do groceries there for the the whole week. Very sweet of him, he pays haha!

My diet plan is sorted out now. All I have to do is stick to it. Now, the smoking. I had a good chat with my boyfriend about this. And we decided I will quit smoking this Thursday when I finished work for the entire week. When I finished work I will have lots of time to distract myself with fun stuff to make it through the first few days. So Thursday it is.

So, all I have to do now is stick to the plan. I have faith in myself. Might not always be easy, but it is do-able. Wish me luck!

Thanks for stopping by!

I love more than before

This post is all about the changes my heart and soul made over the years and especially this year. About seven years back I was on top of life. Doing well, looking good, studying hard, working out. I was doing everything right. But yet there was something not right. Though I had an active life, and went to college. Something was different about me. It’s hard to explain but I think I was… lonely… hiding from the world, enjoying only my own company.

Whenever I was free from college, I spent all my free time on my own, didn’t meet any other students for drinks for example and spoke to my mother only once a week when I saw her in the weekends. Never called her by surprise to ask how she was doing or to tell her about my life. I didn’t really see my friends either. I was enjoying my own company with studying at home, watching series and listening to music. That was it.

When I had to go out the door for groceries or shopping. I did it quickly. Never talked to anyone on the way there or in the stores or supermarket. Just the normal ‘Hi, I would like to buy this, Thank you.’ And then I went back home. Back to being, with myself.

Let me say this: there was nothing ‘wrong’ with me. But I… Even though I took good care of myself, I didn’t love myself as much as is desired. I took care of my body and health. So in the practical sense of the word I did love myself. But emotionally, not that much. I was very insecure. I had no reason to. But still, I was.

At some point 6 years back I had to face some adversities. This lead me to quit college, stop working out, and stop taking good care of myself. The loneliness progressed to sheer isolation. I even stopped seeing my mother for a while. Thank Heavens for leading me back to my mother. When I started seeing her again everything became better. Not all problems in my life were solved. But my life was going in an upward trend.

The adversities I faced somehow forced me to change. When I got back up after falling down so hard. I felt so grateful for the little things. The smile from my next door neighbor or bus driver. Coffee with my mother, having a good conversation. I started seeing my friends again, had a good time with them. I met my boyfriend. And I found….. GOD. I became a believer and started to pray. Praying has helped me a lot. I really am a firm believer now and I believe God is taking good care of me. By the way, I am a believer yes, but I am not religious.

For some reason, and in certain ways, all the adversities made a change to my heart and soul. I love more than I did before. Life, my boyfriend, my mother, people in general, God, and last but not least, myself. It’s quite amazing. For example, at work, I am having such a great time, because of all the nice customers and colleagues I work with. Their smiles and kindness fill me with happiness and love. Human contact makes me happy now. I somehow don’t feel the need to just be with myself anymore or isolate myself. I have dreams and hopes now and I don’t want to be alone anymore.

6 years back with all the adversities, I could never see myself studying, working or being in a relationship ever again. And look at me now. Got a boyfriend, an internship, started a new study, busy writing a novel and I have a poetry blog. Also I have big plans for the next year. Everything for next year, my goals, my plans, my dreams, is sorted out.

I am filled with feelings of love and positivity. For me it’s like a miracle. Never thought I could get where I am now. They say God works in mysterious ways, and you know what? Maybe he does. Because I can honestly say. All the adversities made me a better person. A stronger one, smarter one, and eventually a happier one.

I feel satisfied and content right now. Even though it’s almost 5 am and I still didn’t manage to catch some sleep haha! Right, I am going to wrap it up now. I just had to write a post about it. Thanks for stopping by!